There was this guy who went into a bar with a monkey. The bartender was talking to the guy while his monkey went over to the pool table and started playing with the poolballs. The next thing they knew, the monkey was eating the pool balls.
The bartender asked the guy why his monkey was eating the pool balls. The guy replied that he eats anything and everything - and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Well, a few days later, the guy came back into the bar with his monkey. This time the monkey stayed at the bar with the guy. While the bartender and the guy were talking, the monkey was picking up peanuts, sticking them up his butt and then eating them. The bartender asked why the monkey was doing this.
The guy replied, "After those pool balls the other day, he sizes everything before he eats it."