Bill Gates decided to hold a contest for the lawyers. Whoever wins gets to handle all of Microsoft's business. The day of the event, the Gates' estate is swamped with lawyers, all eager for the nod from the richest man in the world.
"Gentlemen," Gates starts, "please follow me." He leads them to an enormous swimming pool filled with piranha. Then he snaps his fingers. With that, a servant opens the door. A cow rushes out and stumbles into the pool. In no time at all, the cow is nothing but bones.
Gates sais, "Any man who can swim the length of that pool shall represent me in all my business and personal dealings."
Instantly, a lawyer named Carl pitches into the water. Furiously he swims across the pool, hauls himself out and stands there panting."
"Bravo!" shouts Gates. "You have proven to me how much you want my business."
"Actually, I want just one thing." Carl gasps.
"The name of the bastard that pushed me in."