(page last updated 30/08/98).
- On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
- Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a
- In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you
are on fire and take appropriate action."
- On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."
- On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except
- At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking
for, you've come to the right place."
- On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"
- On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
- In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
- On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
- On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."
- At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash
- On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
- At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss
a car payment."
- Outside an Exhaust Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you
- Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
- At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"
- In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
- On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and
the 2nd one just left."
- In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!
- On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
- At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in
your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
- In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"
- On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take
what you've got."
- On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
- In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in
and get fed up."
- Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin
- In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks
can eat any place they want."
- On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."
- In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll
- In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise
Robert Chasmer -
(C) KAOS 1995-2000.