More facts about Marriage
(page last updated 30/08/98).
- When the preacher says "For better or worse" it means the
groom could do better and the wife couldn't do worse.
- The wedding cake, is the only cake which, once eaten, can give you
indigestion for the rest of your life.
- "Are you a friend of the groom ?" "Of course not. I'm
the brides mother".
- I would never buy an encyclopedia..... My wife knows everything.
- I'd like to buy some flowers for the woman I love......but my wife
wont let me.
- I'll never forget our wedding......I've tried, but my wife wont let
- I'm a married man and I can't ask for a better wife......but I would
- "Does your wife miss you much"......"No, she throws
remarkably straight for a woman".
- "What's the first thing your wife does when she gets up in the
"......"She sharpens her tongue".
- "Why are you late home?"......"Stop me honey if
you've heard this one".
- "Waiter, my wife just dropped dead"......"Chef, is
there something wrong with the mushrooms ?".
- "What makes you think your wife is getting tired of you ?"
"She keeps packing my lunch in roadmaps".
- No Woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
- When a woman is looking for a husband, she is either single or
- The only woman who can make me wish to be single again, is my wife.
- No woman makes a fool out of a man, she only directs the
- There are two ways to handle a woman..............and both are
- Give a woman an inch......................and she thinks she is a
- The upkeep of women, is the downfall of men.
- There are three kinds of women. The intelligent, the beautiful and
- A truthful woman, is one who wont lie about anything except her age,
her weight and her husbands salary.
- Running after women never hurt anybody, it's the catching that does
- There are two kinds of women, the kind you dream about and the kind
- There is only one bad woman in the world and every husband thinks
she is his wife.
- The reason that so many women aged 40, have so many aches and pains,
is because most of them are over fifty.
- There are only two men in the world that understand women. One is
dead and the other is crazy.
- "Which would you rather give up, wine or women ?" "It
depends on the vintage".
- "I heard that they can now make bread out of potatoes"
"That's nothing. Women can make monkeys out of men".
- "If you don't like the way women drive......get off of the
- After a woman parks her car..........she has only a short walk to
- After a woman parks her car........she has to decide which of the
two meters to use.
- When two cars are double parked......the one parked by a woman, is
the one on top.
- She has been stopped so often by traffic cops......that they finally
gave her a season ticket.
- Women make excellent drivers......They only have trouble with
starting, stopping, turning and parking.
Robert Chasmer -
(C) KAOS 1995-2000.