Two bums were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one bum said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world". "Why is that?" said the other bum. "Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a $20 bill. I went into town and bought me a case of Thunderbird wine and was drunk for three days."
The other bum said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."
"Jesus", said the first bum. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?" "Well", the other bum said, "No, I never found her head."