Alex Ferguson

(page last updated 30/08/98).
Alex Ferguson is watching a rather tame game at struggling Doncaster when he spots a young lad with real potential. Keen to build on his continued success by developing young talented players he approaches the lad and offers him a contract.

The day comes when the lad is about to play in his first game. Alex calls him aside to firm up on the details of the contract: "Right then lad, I've decided to start you on a salary of 25,000 per week.

The lad replies "25,000 per week!!! I was lucky to get #250 at Doncaster!

Ferguson continues "Well son, we're talking Man United here.... the best team in the country, you've got to aim high and think big! I've also arranged a house for you, a 7 bed detached in Wilmslow.....set in 5 acres with its own pool and tennis courts."

The lad is ecstatic "7 bed detached!!! I've only got a council flat at Doncaster!

Ferguson continues "I told you, we're talking Man United here... the best team in the country, you've got to aim high and thinking! I've also arranged your transport, a Jaguar XK8 for the week and a Ferrari F50 for the weekend.

The lad is on cloud nine "A Jag and a Ferrari!!! I only had a Reliant Robin at Doncaster!

Ferguson continues "I told you, we're talking Man United here... the best team in the country, you've got to aim high and keep thinking big! Right I will put you on at the start of the game, but don't be surprised If I pull you off at half time.

The lad can't believe it "Pull me off at half time!!!, I only got an orange at Doncaster!"


Jokes Index Robert Chasmer - (C) KAOS 1995-2000.